The last day of year 2009:)
It has been a really memorable year for me, made special by the friends I've got to know this year. I've grown rather attached to several of them, and the happy times we've spent together has made 2009 a journey that I'll never forget=)
Even for the ones that sometimes pretend to be mean to me and tao me, I love all of you!=))
I pray that in the year yet to come, I'll make even more friends, with the juniors=) and not be so stressed that I turn hostile and bite all those around me. haha. Jia you for As, and...I guess I will have to be resigned to the fact that I'm becoming a year 2 in the matter of a few hours!
Will be going to jia en's for sleepover soon=)) sighhh I feel old already!
All the best to our year 2s as well, jia you in your life and all that you do. You shall always be our seniors!:)
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hey!
Life's been really busy at the moment! Caroling's just over - it ended with grand reunion on the 25th dec, on christmas day! The singing during Grand Reunion was fabulous, it sang right into my soul=) Christmas!
Now that Christmas is over, we have been preparing for the choir concert which will be on the 30th dec, that is, tomorrow!=) I'm glad we managed to not anger mr kwei during our most recent practice; he's rather terrifying when he's riled!
I went to merv's on the 27th (I think it's sunday) for a bbq! I met tracy, jess, si'en and mok there as well! I made three new friends, linda, ivan and kasish(I'm not sure of the spelling buttttt I think it's pronounced this way)! We ate lots and lots of food! Thanks merv and merv's parents! We prank-called several people, one of them giam! haha.
Speaking of giam, she's BACK=))) I think we've grown much closer after the genting trip and I feel really happy whenever I think of our friendship!
I think money is evil. Because it makes people evil. If there was no money in the world, people will not abandon themselves to greed. Money brings power, domination, and the feeling of being superior. An addictive emotion? Perhaps the world would be such a better place if we didn't use money as a currency for exchange. If we lived in another world, where there is no currency, where everyone is lovely, kind and nice. And we could just walk out and buy things without exchanging in monetary terms, but something else, like I'll bake you a cake if I can have that nice piece of cloth. A little like trading=) But I guess that system was inefficient, hence a currency was created. Money. Money kind of stinks. My biology teacher once told us you never knew who had held that particular note in his/her hands before it got to you.
Sighh..besides, without bad people, we won't be able to appreciate goodness in people. I think people shouldn't be too nice. So nice that they compromise on their own happiness to grant the wishes of others. Perhaps sometimes it's good to make sure you get what you want too. Maybe that'll tell us what kind of a person you really are? Instead of being too easy-going, which makes it a little mysterious to guess at your personality.
I wish I can go through much more trials, so I can spot for myself my flaws and improve from there.
mmm I think it's not easy to speak to people. Not the debate kind of speaking, where you know your aims, and have memorised your entire speech, and have hypnotised yourself into arguing for nothing but a specific side.. but rather, the kind that people in position make, like a president, a chairman, or even a teacher speaking to motivate his class. Actually, to come to think of it, maybe all forms of speech can be the same. Have the aims in mind of what you want to address, and use that to ensure your speech is in your head, have confidence! =) I think. Well, I think I may be wrong too! haha.
Oh my, the piles of homework! All the best to you all as well!=))
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CHOIR CHOIR AND CHOIR!!
These few weeks have been fun, though a little tiring, but I don't mind it at all=) I gotta finish studying soon! To attempt the e-assessments. And start on my Maths project. It contributes 15% to midyears dudes! Better do it seriously! Finally we started on econs project=)
I started a lil on Christmas presents as well=) I hope tmr's choir will be nice and fun! =)
It's been a little insecure, without carolyn, bel and jolene on wed prac! and with Eunice unsure of carols, I suddenly realised my independence on others. I MUST BECOME AN INDEPENDENT SINGER! Miss giam lots=(
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On Monday jiaen alex fangqi lyn and I went to parkway for dinner=) pastamania.
Busy with choir pracs and we just had farewell for choir. Econs project is getting postponed time and time again.
Got some christmas shopping done with jia min today. I realised we forgot to take pictures, so..I shall apologise here=(
I'm tired of playing these facades that I keep on long enough to deceive you and hopefully deluding myself in the end. It shadows the game of charades that we have so often derived amusement from, the difference between mine and ours is that this is a game that is endless for me, tides of addiction that I drug myself on, to survive the hypocritical smiles that decorate my face.
I'm sad. Whatever you want to be and can't be. Friends matter to me so much. I guess I shouldn't let my guard down and start becoming real friends with people. No matter what, I should have never allowed you a chance to hurt me. Being detached, formal, cool, saying things that I don't really mean, not ever being sincere..I don't know if I can do it.
I'm sick and tired of taking the initiative. I should just keep my mouth wisely muted to save myself from all the trouble that I bring onto myself. The unkept promises that haunt me in moments of self-reflection really brought reality slamming right into my face. Vile loathsome creature. Bel said when I initiate something, it usually means I care most about it and so others will naturally depend upon me to be responsible about it. But I'll appreciate it if I get support (even moral support would be nice) from the rest, especially if we agreed to have it done.
I'm not a nice person at all. I want to treat everyone with trust and love, and I've been praying every night that I accomplish this task. But every time I trust, an additional barrier gets erected. Why can't you just say what you truly mean? Stupid stupid me. Once bitten twice shy. That's how it's supposed to be. I wish for an open mutual friendship. Maybe it's just me. Over-sensitive and emotional. sigh. Forget it. No matter what happens venus will not become mars, not will any other thing will it the other way. Reality is like an over-baked cookie. It's hard, tough to chew, and gives you indigestion and constipation.
I think I might be suffering from the giam-less day blues. She hasn't left, will only be on thurs, but still..2 whole weeks. sigh. How can I survive without your smiles that radiate truely from your heart, completed with touches of twinkle that light up your eyes? Sister, friend, companion, confidante and much more=) I shall miss you dearly. Do take care of yourself. And learn some digging skills in the process=)) miss me too!
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